Episode #10 – Commando, Back To The Future, DKC2

Vote for whether Muller actually beat Donkey Kong Country when he was 3.

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Did Muller beat Donkey Kong Country when he was 3?

Let’s talk about all the things that are movies.

  • Poorly written segments – check! Those are movies! (especially on this podcast).
  • Nerd metal albums – check! Those are movies!
  • “Save the clock tower” toe-jammed hippie propaganda – those are definitely movies.
  • Actually GOOD movies – yes – check, those are movies too!

EVERYTHING IS A MOVIE WHEN YOU’RE A REAL MAN!

What Is Truly The Greatest Movie Car Of All Time?

  • The DeLorean (back to the future)
  • The Ecto One (the hearse for ghosts)
  • The Blues mobile (the blues brothers)
  • The Last Interceptor (mad max)

…all iconic movie cars. But which is truly the greatest movie car of all time? Take your pick:

  • Tesla Shitbox
  • The Mystery Machine
  • The Little Rascal’s Soapbox Derby Kart
  • A Shopping Cart
  • That Car With The Loud A-Ooooo-GAH Horn On “The Mask”
  • Pee-Wee’s Stolen Bicycle

Speaking of the blues brothers.

The Blues Brothers Will Never Leave You Feeling Blue In Your Nutsack

If you haven’t seen this movie, you’ve missed out on the most brilliant car chases of all time.

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  • Do they believe that there is a false realm that is a dodecahedron of pentagons that make up our 12 universes?

Am I Really Reaching With Donkey Kong Country? Can Movies Really Learn Nothing From DKC2?

That bullish moron Andy doesn’t understand abstract theme. Apparently it’s impossible to draw lessons between two creative mediums.

Consider this example:

In John Cleese’s lesson on creativity, he taught why his ideas were more original than his colleagues:

“I always threw out my first idea, and took another stab. I found that while my first idea may have been funnier to some people, my subsequent ideas always beat the crap out of my stupid Monty Python colleague’s cerebellums (and were always more original)”.

I think that’s how the quote goes. But what’s important is that rule is only useful for John Cleese writing Monty Python skits. There’s definitely no way you can translate that into a different medium.

According to Andy, I guess there’s no way in hell I can use that universally true idea to help me write comedy segments for the podcast, is there?

If I threw out my first joke and tried to come up with another version of the joke, it just…wouldn’t work. This lesson would just implode on itself.

If I was Andy, I would say something retarded like:

“I fail to see why that advice had anything to do with podcasts. John Cleese is an ACTOR! Not a podcaster! It’s just totally irrelevant.”

It’s almost as if there are universal equations and rules to:

  • storytelling
  • creativity
  • drama
  • character design
  • theme
  • tone
  • and all this other crap.

Bahh who am I fooling. Clearly this is all nonsense and you can’t learn a single thing from any medium except for the direct medium you’re currently practicing in.

Stick to the guitar Johnny! The drums can’t help you! That way we can keep getting the same brand of music forever and ever. Don’t ever try to do anything new, you’ll only fail.

Look At These Killer DKC2 Levels

The resolution of these images is choppy and gritty, just like a man should be. In the middle you can see the overview of the map (the wide shot). Surrounding that, each specific world comes into view (the medium shot).

Closeup of the world map:

Notice the scary lava crocodile head? How about that creep sunken ship at the bottom? Or look in the middle of the map – there’s some sort of awesome party or carnival going on there. COUNT ME IN!

And if you make it past that, you get to invade King K. Rool’s airship: The Flying Krock!

Here you can see a ghost dude chasing the Kongs on a haunted roller coaster in some sort of…hell library. Look at that ghost pirate skeleton’s bandana! That’s cool as HELL!

Remember when I said that Dixie and Diddie have awesome exit music? Look at these two punk-ass monkeys play their instruments.

Look at Diddie’s COOL sunglasses! Seriously the koolest. Kong kool.

Comments

  1.   +1
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    We got Donkey Kong Country for Christmas of 1994 and beat it before we could party like it was 1995.

    1.   +1
        -0

      We ordered and watched the DKC Promo VHS over and over again.

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