Episode #8 – The Expendables 3, Kick-Ass 2, The Sixth Sense

Vote for your most hated movie EVER (of the week) here:

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The Expendables 3
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Kick-Ass 2
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The Sixth Sense

Here are the 3 movies we talked about this episode:

Not only can you look above (at the voting) to know which movies we covered, but you can also look at the title of this post.

Apparently that’s not enough though, because Braden and Andy think that our minuscule audience also have minuscule brains.

They don’t just want jokes for this comedy bit. I’m supposed to summarize the episode, the most boring thing I can think of, so that the write-up is actually relevant to the episode.

Here you go dickheads:

  • The Expendables 3
  • Kick-Ass 2
  • The Sixth Sense

Happy now? Moving on.

I didn’t realize how much Andy loved anime.

But he’s revealed himself now! That windbag just kept talking for hours and hours in that last episode, all about anime!

But he’s not a real anime fan. If he was a true anime fan, he’d have his own “My Top 10 Anime” list. It would probably look something like this:

  1. FullMuller Alchemist: Mullerhood
  2. Mullboy Bebop
  3. Dragon Mull Z
  4. Attack On Muller
  5. Death Mull
  6. Avatar: The Last Mullbender
  7. Mull’s Moving Castle
  8. Deadmull Wonderland
  9. My Neighbour Mulltoro
  10. Tales From Mullsea

I hope you die from legitimate brain cancer from reading this Andy, you worthless worm.

Now let’s talk about the truly important questions in life, namely:

Is it ethical to have sex with another person while riding a horse?

Would that be considered bestiality? Is the animal a 3rd part in the sex-act, or does the animal simply become an environmental factor, like your bed.

You’d never say you’re having a threesome with your ex-wife and your bed, namely because she’s a cheating good-for-nothing heifer and she’d probably leave you out of all the fun.

Andy Loves Porn

This guy. It seems like no matter what we’re talking about, he just can’t stop advocating for guys to look at more porn.

Even though research shows that it makes men flaccid and weak-willed, apparently Andy’s libertarian paradise of america doesn’t need real, strong, non-neutered men in it.

He really can’t help it, and it’s interfering with this show now too. Me and Braden keep telling him:

  • “Andy, you’ve got to write this week’s segment”
  • “Andy, we’re trying to record right now. Can you put your porn and dick away?”
  • “Andy, your mom is sitting right across the table.”

He’s insatiable though. He just can’t stop looking at porn. He was even looking at porn of fatsos with big butts, ON MY COMPUTER! My wife found out, and can you believe that “it was Andy” wasn’t a good excuse?

She actually thought I would do something like that, even though no anime ever has had someone with a big butt. Now I’m taking the blame for his massive perversion. Disgusting.

Go write a funny segment, loser! And next time remind me to clear my…er, I mean YOUR history and dirty internet habits out of my computer!

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