Episode #31 – Swimfan?

Is there anything more annoying than Moms on Facebook?

Normally I love when people expose the moronic thoughts going on their thick skull because it’s the perfect opportunity to ridicule them in front of a large audience, making them feel small while simultaneously showing everyone how much better of a human I am.

And Moms constantly post the dumbest shit on social media.

Stupid copy and paste “posting this to see who responds” horseshit, messages to specific people that they instead posted to everyone because they still don’t understand how the internet works, and the occasional self-absorbed cause that they don’t realize nobody cares about, like “the right to breastfeed in public”.

The worst is the pictures of their kids, dogs, and food just sitting there doing nothing. The only time a picture of food is worth looking at, is if it’s being thrown at someone. Same goes with kids and dogs.

Being that I feel no remorse in publicly shaming these kinds of people, you’d think I’d be in heaven with the constant showcase of mental inadequacy. If it was anyone other than my Mom I wouldn’t care about upsetting them, but I don’t wanna end up missing out on a free meal from time to time.

I guess I just want people to realize nobody actually cares about any of the dumb shit you care to post about.

Speaking of which, here’s a post about today’s episode!

I know you probably thought to yourself “I don’t want to listen to a bunch of idiots talking about Swimfan for any amount of time”. Don’t worry, neither did we, so we didn’t.

Swimfan is probably the movie equivalent of “posts by your Mom” in terms of things you want to hear about. But we managed to make a case for why it will ruin your life without actually discussing anything about it at all.

You’re welcome.

Speaking of things that will ruin your life, remember the endings of Alf and Dinosaurs?

I think most people will remember these two shows as innocent, fun for the whole family, but likely dated TV shows from the late 80s/early 90s. And you’d be right, but what you probably don’t remember is that both of these shows ended so fucking bleak that you’d think I wrote them as some kind of overly elaborate prank to traumatize children. You’re right to think I’m that sadistic, but wrong to think I’m not that lazy.

Here’s the ending clip of Dinosaurs that we mention on the show. (spoiler alert, everybody dies and nobody is ready to accept it)

I always imagined that Real Movies with REAL Men will have a similarly bleak ending, but the more I think about it, there’s probably a good chance it will end by me and Braden murdering Muller and then being unable to figure out how to record more episodes on our own.

Nothing bleak about that.


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