Episode #62 – The Back To The Future Sequels

What would you do if you had a time machine?

The number one answer that everyone says is go back in time and kill baby Hitler. But I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think that’s the best approach.

Beyond the fact that most people don’t have it in them psychologically to kill a baby, have we not learned anything from Doc Browns constant rantings about the unforeseen consequences of altering the natural course of history that he himself is repeatedly contradicting throughout the course of the franchise?

I have to be honest though, I don’t really care about any of that stuff, but if I had access to time travel I still don’t think I would prevent Hitler from committing such an atrocity. I would however redirect the atrocity towards a more deserving crowd.

I don’t really have any problem with the Jews, but there is another crowd of people fixated on money that I would try to direct Hitler’s angst towards in hopes to fill up them camps with. And that’s people who brag about how they don’t use a wallet.

What the fuck kind of principle is this to be proud of!? Who gives a shit!? This has to be the lamest personal achievement to be bragging about I could possibly think of.

I’m so fucking sick of hearing the false sense of accomplishment in their voice as they brag about this. As if it somehow makes you better than everyone else that instead you just jam wads of cash, cards, receipts, and whatever into your pocket like a fucking child with bubblegum and pogs or whatever else the kids are into these days.

Lets do better than just stop Hitler with a time machine. Lets use this as an opportunity. Lets use his powers of persuasion for good. Lets rid the planet of the actual people that need to die.

What I wouldn’t give to go back in time and get Hitler to station his goons outside the store waiting for people to buy money clips and then casually and calmly direct them into a fucking gas chamber. To hell with the unforeseen consequences, lets roll the dice!

Boy am I going to have egg on my face if all the people buying money clips turn out to be Jews…


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