If you came here expecting more of our regular witty bantz that keeps you from offing yourself, you best start start tying that hangman’s knot now.
Before you start pointing the blame to me you should know that this, like most things, is all Muller’s fault.
As it turns out the state of your immune system is directly proportionate to how much of a fucking pussy you are. It’s what happens when you spend your entire upbringing avoiding all the cool things us cool guys do, like watching Robocop, drinking gasoline, and eating rocks.
So here we are today, no new episode all because for Muller getting the common cold is enough to have your testicles fall off, invert your penis, and have it turn into a full fledged vagina.
But fret not!
The movie we were going to discuss was that stoopid Venom movie, and like most of these boring sooper hero movies, its not even worth talking about.
Seriously, these fucking sooper hero movies. I know I bitch about them like a broken record, but goddammit are these things boring as fuck.
I read a quote from one of the hack producers involved with the creation of this trash heap that said “we made this movie to feel like the works of John Carpenter and David Cronenberg but with more pop, more fun!” So… like the works of Carpenter and Cronenberg, but just completely not at all. They sure know how to make me excited about being in a movie theater.
As I got up to leave the second the credits hit the screen, I heard another person in the theater passively aggressively say aloud as I passed by them, “don’t they know to stay for the after credits scene?”. I think in some kind of bold attempt to make me feel ashamed.
Look idiot, I didn’t care what happened before the credits, like I give a fuck what happens after. I got the fuck out of the theater as fast as I possibly could.
And that’s all she wrote folks, these movies are so bland they aren’t even good for complaining about.
SAW ya later!
But the real take away from this post is this, SAWsgiving is upon us! That’s right, last year we sat down to watch all 7 (at the time) Saw movies IN ONE SITTING and this year we’re still dumb enough to do it again! BITCH!
But this time with a different franchise, hopefully something less miserable this time. You’ll have to tune in next time for the big episode 50 to find out!
I’ll give you a hint, if you’re hoping for me to tell, DREAM ON!